Property Show Fanatic Gifts

Location, Location, Penguins

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Look, son, real estate."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Real Estate Personals

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'This is close enough.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'They're playing house.'

Dog Realtor

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

UP Again: Housing Prices.

New Homes

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.