Property Market Enthusiast Gifts

"Lean, What Lean?"

'Can't afford a Second Home.'

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Realty: Completely Unaffordable, Total Pipe Dream, Why do you keep doing this to yourself?

Advert for an estate agency for sale in the window the estate agents.

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

'I'm having real trouble getting on the property ladder...'

"This 'ranch style' bungalow you're trying to flog us looks like it was built by cowboys!"

"I'm afraid the discovery of oil on your property will drive the price of your home down."

"Or you could see it as the first step in an environmentally friendly, sustainable and affordable self-build project!"

"He refuses to even consider getting an agent until our house has been on the market 700 days."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"