Housing Market Aficionado Gifts

Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae.

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

"As much as I hate to admit it, a bigger sign isn't going to help it sell any quicker."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

House hunting is cruel.

'They're playing house.'

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

Shoe house.

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'