Housing Market Aficionado Gifts

Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae.

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

"As much as I hate to admit it, a bigger sign isn't going to help it sell any quicker."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

Who Let the Dawg In?

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

House hunting is cruel.

'They're playing house.'

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'