Housing Market Buff Gifts

"I told you it was a sellers' market."

"Folks, we're in a hot market ...so you might want to make an offer before the fire trucks get here."

The old woman who lives in a shoe meets a friends who says: 'My new home is built on a flood plain ??" but thankfully it's a welly.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'I don't think you have quite grasped the principal behind sheltered housing.'

"It's good I'm on the property ladder but with hindsight I regret buying a semi detached."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

An exaggeration of estate agents

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

Igloo sales

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'Well, yes... The cellar IS a bit damp. But therefore the rent is really low!'

House hunting is cruel.

Turtle Home

"I've downsized."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'