Housing Market Buff Pillows

"Folks, we're in a hot market ...so you might want to make an offer before the fire trucks get here."

The old woman who lives in a shoe meets a friends who says: 'My new home is built on a flood plain ??" but thankfully it's a welly.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'I don't think you have quite grasped the principal behind sheltered housing.'

"It's good I'm on the property ladder but with hindsight I regret buying a semi detached."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

Igloo sales

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"I've downsized."

Turtle Home

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

House hunting is cruel.

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'Well, yes... The cellar IS a bit damp. But therefore the rent is really low!'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

Shoe house.

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

"We just need more wiggle room."