Housing Market Guru Pillows

"Yes, I know what all the comps say, but my house is special."

'I had a house for that price. But I sold it in 1962.'

'It's neither a buyer's market or a seller's market. At the moment, it's an estate agent's market.'

Estate Agents.

For sale - 50 off.

"For a 2 bed will need a guarantor, you don't by any chance know Jeff Bezos do you?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Sold his air rights."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

'This is close enough.'

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

House hunting is cruel.

Repossessions

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'