Property Market Guru Pillows

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.

'Well, here's our new place, honey. What do you think?'

'Dunpayingcouciltax'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Sold his air rights."

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

House hunting is cruel.

'This is close enough.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Repossessions

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

Shoe house.

See the house whose property taxes were raised