Property Market Guru T-Shirts

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.

'Well, here's our new place, honey. What do you think?'

'Dunpayingcouciltax'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Sold his air rights."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

House hunting is cruel.

Repossessions

'This is close enough.'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

Shoe house.

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'