Property Investment Guru Pillows

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Will work for ETFs

"Invest in technology."

The Shrinking Dollar.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Dow Jones drop

Jumping Wall Street.

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"I've invested in property..."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."