Property Investment Guru Gifts

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Invest in technology."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

The Shrinking Dollar.

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Dow Jones drop

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Jumping Wall Street.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"I've invested in property..."