Property Pricing Guru Gifts

'It's a terrible time to be an Estate Agent.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

Reverse Mortgage.

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Sold his air rights."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Repossessions

House hunting is cruel.

'This is close enough.'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

Shoe house.

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

Little Investment on the Praire

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'