Property Pricing Guru Gifts

'It's a terrible time to be an Estate Agent.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

Reverse Mortgage.

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Sold his air rights."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

House hunting is cruel.

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

'This is close enough.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Repossessions

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

Shoe house.

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

Little Investment on the Praire

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'