Property Value Enthusiast Gifts

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

An exaggeration of estate agents

Home Sweet Second Home.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

One tends to the sick. The other manages a large estate. Interestingly, a caregiver and a caretaker are not on opposite sides of an interaction.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Emigrating to France.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'