Property Value Enthusiast Pillows

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

An exaggeration of estate agents

Home Sweet Second Home.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Emigrating to France.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'