Property Values Pillows

"Yes, I know what all the comps say, but my house is special."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Home Sweet Second Home.

An exaggeration of estate agents

Mouse real estate!

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

Igloo sales

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

Repossessions

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'They're playing house.'

Dog Realtor

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

UP Again: Housing Prices.

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"