Real Estate Guru Gifts

"Sure, we need affordable housing - just so long as it doesn't come at the expense of unaffordable housing."

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

For sale sign 'Don't take that down, it's holding up the house.'

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

"This one is a steal at 1.5 Million."

'They're upside down on their mortgage.'

How to make money in real estate with no money.

US Housing Market

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'

Great Fire of London - "This could be good news for the property market!"

'Where's the rent you owe me, £70?. . . Well I can, it's now £80.'

'We'd like some bubbly to help celebrate the Real Estate price bubble.'

'Where are these oak beams you mentioned?'

Mortgages.

"Good news! The economy is staging a comeback..."

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"Oh, so what if it's invading our air rights."

Real estate salesman.

'This is close enough.'

Selling Online.

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

'Sold?...Sold?...S-O-L-D?...What the hell does that mean?'

'Do you want to put that on the market?'

"Sold his air rights."

'This is about all we have in your price range!'

"I'm really looking for something with more space."

"All this talk of a 'lack of affordable housing' is nonsense....I should know, I've got six!"

Real Estate. These days my dream house is one I could still unload!

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

"He just bought the water rights."

"Listen, you guys, it's O.K. to sell your apartment at a loss. It's a badge of honor."

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.