Real Estate Gurus Gifts

' We're last time buyers...'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"Sold his air rights."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

'This is close enough.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Repossessions

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Under New Mismanagement

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

"Have you seen the walk-in broom closet?"

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Updated Classic: Bleak House Sales

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."