Mortgage Gurus Gifts

Foreclosure

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

Standard & Poor

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

Canine Comedians

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'All I know is when it's the 'birds and bees' it's about sex; and when it's the 'bulls and bears' it's about money.'

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"Sold his air rights."

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

IRS. April 15th is the deadlie for filing your return, not a "best if used by" date.

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

'This is close enough.'

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'Ready?!'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

Life plan

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'I exercise to stay healthy so I can keep working to pay for health insurance until I drop dead.'

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.