Mortgage Specialist Gifts

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Peter

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Standard & Poor

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

Canine Comedians

Reverse Mortgage.

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

An exaggeration of estate agents

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

God bless our home equity line of credit.

'Honey, I'm home.'

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

'My final offer.'

Repossessions

'Home equity loan for a pyramid.'