Mortgage Officer Gifts

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

'You know, you didn't help our chances by filling the application out in crayon!'

"I'm sorry if some of the 'affordability' questions we're require to ask may seem inappropriate."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"What's a debenture?"

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Historic Bank Jobs.

Standard & Poor

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Peter

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Reverse Mortgage.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."