Mortgage Expert Gifts

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Standard & Poor

Canine Comedians

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

Those who fail to learn from the past will be forced to relive it.

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

Life plan

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

business illustration

Bank of England Base Rates.

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'I sure thought we were done for when we flat-lined like that.'

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

"Before I begin my summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... have you considered the benefits of a reverse mortgage."

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

"Although we appreciate your offer of a 'magic money tree' you still have to repay your mortgage."

'You have the wrong idea about adjustable-rate mortgages - WE do the adjusting.'

Financial Advisor. What I have is a conflict of interest - the interest on my mortgage, my car loan, my credit cards.

'That might well have made you feel better, Mr. Jones, but we still have to negotiate a figure. . .'

'Sorry, no, but thanks for bringing a little laughter into my life.'

'I'm sorry, NEXT!'

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."