Mortgage Advisor Gifts

"A high five isn't binding Sir. You still have to sign a loan agreement."

'Good news! We've got a buyer.'

'Your repayment period starts...Now!'

"I've downsized..."

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'

Bank of England Base Rates.

"If you have not paid we will be forced to sell your home, furniture and all assets and evict you and your family from the property. If however you have paid, please ignore this letter."

FSA sees mortgage lenders as drug dealers says Council of Mortgage Lenders

"The process of phoning lenders can be a little confusing..."

Canine Comedians

A mortgage based on your income would be about £120000 but if we take into account the size and voluptuousness of your breasts then the figure would be nearer £400000.

'Oh no! Not another customer looking for a mortgage...'

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

'It's a house repossession wave.'

Standard & Poor

Mortgage Department: 'I don't suppose you're a transsexual or anything, are you? - The Government says we can only loan money to minorities now.'

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

"I know I don't have a credit history. I had my name legally changed after that mortgage fiasco."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

Peter

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Reverse Mortgage.

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

An exaggeration of estate agents

God bless our home equity line of credit.