Loan Expert Gifts

'If experience is the best teacher, why can't I get a student loan?'

"We ran your credit rating and came up with a negative number."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"What's a debenture?"

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Historic Bank Jobs.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

'Wait a minute....!

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"Your repayments start now!"

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

Check's in the mail...

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

Sole traders