Mortgage Officer Pillows

"I want a reverse mortgage. Take me back to when I didn't have one."

'You know, you didn't help our chances by filling the application out in crayon!'

"I'm sorry if some of the 'affordability' questions we're require to ask may seem inappropriate."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"What's a debenture?"

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Historic Bank Jobs.

Peter

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Standard & Poor

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Wait a minute....!

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

Canine Comedians

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."