Mortgage Manager Pillows

Financial Advisor. What I have is a conflict of interest - the interest on my mortgage, my car loan, my credit cards.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Money exchange

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Standard & Poor

U.S. Credit Rating

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Look, son, real estate."

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"I rented out the basement."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

Canine Comedians

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'