Real Estate Buffs Pillows

A burial service being held on the sidewalk in a city.

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

Emigrating to France.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

America's funniest investment scams

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'