Real Estate Buffs Gifts

A burial service being held on the sidewalk in a city.

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

"We're going to use the 6.4 million pounds to purchase a terraced in a run down area of Huddersfield."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Emigrating to France.

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Who Let the Dawg In?

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'