Real Estate Fan Gifts

It's got good bones...

'Oh no, I'm not selling the house, just the sign.'

'Forgive me if I'm wrong,sir but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'

Mortgages

"It's the first time I've ever tried flipping a house."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

Who Let the Dawg In?

One tends to the sick. The other manages a large estate. Interestingly, a caregiver and a caretaker are not on opposite sides of an interaction.

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Emigrating to France.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'