Housing Market Pundit Gifts

'They've rejected a number of offers. I guess they're in no hurry to sell.'

'You'd never believe what my gaffe is worth...'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

House hunting is cruel.

"I've downsized."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'