Real Estate Pundit Gifts

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Town Planning Department

House hunting is cruel.

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

"Do you have planning permission for the extra shoe?"

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

Shoe house.

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

Don't worry dear, he only bites untrustworthy morgage brokers!

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

Real Estate Life

'Look, they're slowing down.'

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

Affordable housing

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'I came up here because the meaning of life is location, location, location.'

FSBO Heaven