Housing Market Enthusiasts Gifts

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'I'll give you 1.2 million for that!'

The Movers Strip - Freshly ground coffee

"That's the trouble with youth today. They expect to move into nice car right away."

"I'd like to say this will all be yours someday, but it's all rented."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Emigrating to France.

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Real Estate Personals

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

America's funniest investment scams