Housing Market Enthusiasts Pillows

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'I'll give you 1.2 million for that!'

The Movers Strip - Freshly ground coffee

"That's the trouble with youth today. They expect to move into nice car right away."

"I'd like to say this will all be yours someday, but it's all rented."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Emigrating to France.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Real Estate Personals

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

America's funniest investment scams

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

Home Foreclosed Home.