Housing Market Adventurer Gifts

'Will it still be okay after the icecaps melt?'

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

Freddy Mac and Fannie Mae.

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

Home seller has given up after reducing price many times.

For Sale sign combined with Fruit Machine - 'House Price Lottery'

'Could you show me something in my price range.'

'My mortgage is underwater.'

"We were leasing land to a guy running a truffle farm in france. He skipped out, but we were able to recover some of his assets."

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

'Yes, we do sell affordable homes, if you happen to be Donald Trump.'

'How are house sales going? I'm phoning down for the latest figures.'

"I love what you've done to the house."

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

"Looks like rent-a-mob's arrived."

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

"Pleased to meet you neighbour! I'm the first wave of gentrification."

'That use to work, Dorothy ... but now you need at least 20% down.'