Housing Market Detective Gifts

"It's 'affordable' if you can afford it."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'I remember when all this was fields.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

House hunting is cruel.

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

"We just need more wiggle room."

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

Updated Classic: Bleak House Sales

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"You've heard of the bank that likes to say 'yes' well we're the bank that likes to laugh in your face unless you've got an 80% deposit."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'