Real Estate Fanatic Pillows

"The owners have switched from low-flow to 'no-flow' faucets!"

'Central air, ceramic tile, security system. OK, let's move on to the kitchen.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

Emigrating to France.

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

Who Let the Dawg In?

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Home Sweet Second Home.

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."