Real Estate Warrior Gifts

'It says right here in your contract, folks: 'Some settling may occur during the first year'.'

House hunting is cruel.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Water is discovered on the moon....

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"We got the cactus account!"

'He works in Acquisitions.'

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'Hi, I'm on the make,'

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

"Watch these old guys- you can learn a lot."

Sad businessman with sinking profits

America's Biggest Export...

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

"Can you skip to the part that doesn't suck?"

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

House building chart (like steps).

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

"It's J.B.'s new junior executive promotion policy. . . whoever survives gets the promotion!"