Real Estate Warrior Pillows

House hunting is cruel.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

Water is discovered on the moon....

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"We got the cactus account!"

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'Hi, I'm on the make,'

Sad businessman with sinking profits

"Watch these old guys- you can learn a lot."

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

America's Biggest Export...

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

House building chart (like steps).

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."

"It's J.B.'s new junior executive promotion policy. . . whoever survives gets the promotion!"

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'