Housing Market Jester Gifts

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'My mortgage is underwater.'

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

House hunting is cruel.

"I've downsized."

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

With their sales slumping due to high gas prices, many RVs are being converted...

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

Updated Classic: Bleak House Sales

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

Then the housing bubble burst and we lost our funding. Stonehenge Estates. A gated community.

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"