Housing Market Ponderers Gifts

'Rent, or buy?'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

Battery Farm Housing

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

Home seller has given up after reducing price many times.

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

'That's the Government for you every time.'

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

'Could you show me something in my price range.'

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

"Considering the rental market, this property offers a fantastic view, and they'll drop the restrictions."

'Here's a nice one, 'The Oaks', but where are the oaks?'

'How are house sales going? I'm phoning down for the latest figures.'

"We're going to use the 6.4 million pounds to purchase a terraced in a run down area of Huddersfield."

'My mortgage is underwater.'

"Pleased to meet you neighbour! I'm the first wave of gentrification."

Housing bubble