Realist Thinker Gifts

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

Optimist - Pessimist - Pragmatist

The Optimist and the Pessimist.

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

"Yeah, that's a real sad story, you wanna hear mine?"

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

Edward P. Whitcomb: a grumbling, whiny mediocrity mistakenly born into the greatest generation.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

Tired Barbie

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

New from Low-Key Press.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

Have you considered a career in travel brochures?

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

Inbox and Outbox

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'That's the sign of a good painting!'