Real Estate Opportunist Gifts

I'm about to get rich, Randy. Filthy rich. How so, little buddy? The federal government's going to seize privately owned lands along the U.S.-Mexico border so they can build Trump's wall. But they'll have to pay the landowners lots of money. So I bought a dirt cheap stretch of land along the border. But no one knows where exactly the wall will be. That's why I bought a 1-inch-wide strip of land that stretches from Colorado to Mexico. You're crazy like a fox that's gone crazy.

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

Real Estate Depression

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

House building chart (like steps).

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

Bush's Hacker

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Dye now, pay later!

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

Hotel checkout.

'I didn't ask you to help me when it was $90 an ounce, and I didn't ask you to help me when it was $110 an ounce. But when it's $400 an ounce...'

"No, it's not a foreclosure. It's my 'Going out of business sale!' Everything must go!"

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

'The two-property lifestyle just isn't as glamorous as I thought'

"So you think people will line up to give us a job?"

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

Instant winner trash can

BAM! BAM! BAM! I'm sure opportunity wouldn't knock like that!

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'These days, we don't encourage customers to make themselves at home anymore.'

"Originally I was resting before I was between engagements... I'm out of work now and next month I'll be counted as unemployed."