Artistic Opportunist Gifts

Sculpture Vulture

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

Small Business Loan of Pencils

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"Portraits? Sorry, I don't do portraits. I'm doing religious paintings for economic leaders."

Dye now, pay later!

Another Big-Headed Cartoonist

Careers Fair

I've organized us a double date with the twins from despatch. Cool! What are their names? Kylie and Troy.

'As if the paper shortage isn't bad enough, now I hear there's an ink shortage.'

Instant winner trash can

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

'This isn't Lindsey, but I AM free for dinner saturday night.'

"You look at the ocean and see peace and tranquility. . . I see opportunities for offshore drilling!"