Artful Opportunist Gifts

Bush's Hacker

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

Operation Tattoo

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

'I hope there isn't art as we know it on other planets.'

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

Primavera (Spring)

'That brush - how many dpi?'

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

'You should've expected this when you told them to draw pictures of vanishing breeds.'

Another Big-Headed Cartoonist

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Urban snail

"I is no longer sure I is an egg."

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

'What School Are You?'

If you keep sitting on your paintings, you're going to become an impressionist!

Bob's Tattwo Parlor

"It's an honest piece"

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

Badly Drawn. Please Photoshop.

Instant winner trash can

'As if the paper shortage isn't bad enough, now I hear there's an ink shortage.'

I've organized us a double date with the twins from despatch. Cool! What are their names? Kylie and Troy.

"I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas."

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."

"All of P.J.'s landscapes look vaguely similar."

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

Art Block