Cheeky Opportunist Gifts

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

Sticking out tongue

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

Easter Island

5,- euro and I'll show you how to hustle 5,- Euro from a doofus!!"

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Recession tips & taxes

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

(anteater sticking its tongue at passers-by)

Athletes doing hurdles, short athlete has vaulting pole.

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

Football Fantasies