Cheeky Investor Gifts

Hoyt Group: Gluttony, lust, sloth, envy, pride, anger & greed-management.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

Sticking out tongue

"You should consider buying."

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Animal worries.

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

Justice for a heckler.

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'A penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''