Cheeky Critic Gifts

'Yeah, this wine is terrible - but at least it comes in a big bottle.'

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

No-Work Orange

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'My dentist recommended it.'

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'

Justice for a heckler.

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"Thanks for my pocket money Dad. But you forgot to add 17.5% VAT."

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

Library - Cats for Dummies.

"Sorry, these are saved."

"Where can a fellow find some loose tea in this town?"

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

Easter Island

Recession tips & taxes

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

Book ratings.

Football Fantasies

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

'I've been sent for booze and fags - I've got a stay-at-home mum.'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere."

"Hullo, 'Railtrack' here, we're thinking of organising a few drinks at your place..."

"Do you wash your plums?"

Then the mask mandate was lifted, and we all had to get used to that again.