Cheeky Commentator Gifts

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere."

Justice for a heckler.

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

Elephant ass selfie.

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Expressions of mystery.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

'I like it.'

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"Thanks for my pocket money Dad. But you forgot to add 17.5% VAT."

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

"Hey you. I can't get in your house because nobody drew a fireplace or chimney. Not my fault, dude. Well, maybe next year. Ho, ho, ho."

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

Keister Island.

The Living End.

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

Easter Island

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

Recession tips & taxes