Cheeky Communicator Gifts

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

F**k Off

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"I speak Latin, you know."

'Modern romance'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

Sticking out tongue

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

Justice for a heckler.

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Wanna chill at my place?"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'