Cheeky Communicator Pillows

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

F**k Off

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'Modern romance'

"I speak Latin, you know."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Sticking out tongue

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Justice for a heckler.

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Your dump or mine..?"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."