Cheeky Conversationalist Pillows

'My former boss will tell you I tend to say inappropriate things. But that's because he's an uptight jerk like you.'

'Interesting jugs.'

'I told him everything except the sex with Mr. Monahan.'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

"it's just different words for the same thing."

"I love it when you talk dirty to me."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

PSA Banter.

Why we need poetry. . .

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'I just like tequila for the worm.'