Cheeky Linguist Pillows

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

Artichoking victim

Heart To Heart

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Justice for a heckler.

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

"Wanna chill at my place?"

'Today I learned a little grammar in the classroom and LOTS of vocabulary on the playground!'

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'The frowsting bacchant kept his shelty vicinal.'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Easter Island

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

It's not like you to be late... Forgot to set my alarm cock. (Alarm cock? What did you say that for?!)

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

Football Fantasies

'Are you on HRT?'

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."