Cheeky Linguist Pillows

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Artichoking victim

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

Heart To Heart

Justice for a heckler.

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

"Wanna chill at my place?"

'Today I learned a little grammar in the classroom and LOTS of vocabulary on the playground!'

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

Easter Island

It's not like you to be late... Forgot to set my alarm cock. (Alarm cock? What did you say that for?!)

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

'The frowsting bacchant kept his shelty vicinal.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

Football Fantasies

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

'Are you on HRT?'

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."